Going Back

I can hardly believe we are almost a third of the way through 2023. It’s scary when I consider what I have or haven’t achieved so far this year. With all that has gone on (nursing and worrying over my 97-year-old mum, looking after Dave pre and post his hip replacement, weeks without a washing machine, and so on) I’ve surprised myself by finally getting back into editing mode with my novel, two successful paintings completed, with another in progress, and one not so complete but will be soon.

What I have had problems with is reading. Considering how much I used to read, even known on Amazon as “AvidReader”, no matter what I started, I could not finish, either losing interest, the story didn’t engage me, or I was too tired to read anything. Most unlike me, normally having 2 if not 3 books on the go: 1 for reading in bed; another when there’s nothing decent on television, which is often; and in the summer, 1 in the garden. But for the past few months I can hold my hand up and say nothing I pick up inspires me to continue.

Truth is, I missed reading and determined to retrieve my lost mojo. Like my music tastes, I enjoy many genres but autobiographies are not ones I generally turn to. I can count on my hand the few that I have read: The Moon’s a Balloon, and Bring on the Empty Horses by David Niven; one about the composer Claude Debussy; and 2 years ago the autobiography of a close childhood friend, Peter Beaven, Director of Music at the Royal Military Chapel, Sandhurst, who sadly passed away suddenly this January.

Chance would have it, good old Amazon flashed up an autobiography on special offer. It was for Not Dead Yet, by Phil Collins, the singer/songwriter/drummer/actor. I enjoy his music and singing, and knew Phil came from my home town in West London. But apart from his music, that’s all I did know about him. Curious, I bought the book.

Although I am still reading it (I’m half-way through), I am so pleased I did. I learned that Phil, 2 years older than me, grew up a few streets away, his mother worked in a toy shop I knew well (I was probably served by her), and that teenage Phil frequented the same clubs, pubs bars and nightclubs I did. It is quite possible we were there at the same time on occasion.

Reading about familiar places and haunts, streets, cafes, incidents I remember came to life again, going back in time. He talks about the background to many of his songs and albums, the highs and lows of touring, his marriages and divorces, his children including the actress Lily Collins, how the music industry has changed since the 1970s, the concerts, the other bands and musicians he’s played with. His part in the film Buster, about the 1960s Great Train Robbery. His writing style is relaxed and full of humour, wit and sometimes with a sadness. In reading, it is his voice you hear, speaking as he would directly to you in normal conversation. I’m loving it. So much so, each night this week I’ve gone to bed early in order to delve into the world of music and rock&roll and visit memory lane.

My reading mojo has returned. Yay!

Kit Domino’s websites and blogs

Happy Spring Forward

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I’m laughing at my subject line. I hate spring forward. It drives me crazy. If you live in a place you don’t have to change your clocks that’s great. I missed a few months. Sorry about that. I didn’t have … Continue reading →

Souvenirs

If you travel, do you pick up souvenirs as you go? It used to be, when I traveled, I picked up something for each of the kids, then each of the grandkids, as well as cool stuff for our home, so that I’d have reminders of the wonderful trips we’ve taken.

Then our family exploded in size. We have 5 children (plus partners), 10 grandchildren, and are about to welcome our 3^rd great-grandchild. I can’t leave enough empty room in my suitcase for that many gifts! As well, the bank account would take a significant hit. I love every single one of our family, but there came a point where no one got a “My grandparents went to [insert destination here] and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” gifts. Lol.

Nowadays, hubby and I are old enough that we’re more into downsizing than clutter. We still travel, and still shop, but buying something for the house has to be purposeful and meaningful. For instance, last year we remodeled our family room. Pictures ended up in different spots and we had a place where we needed to buy something to go there. So, while in Alaska on a cruise, we bought the art pictured below.

And, when we took a road trip to Mt. Rushmore, where I based my Earth Legacy dystopian fantasy series, I bought a coffee mug. It’s the perfect size and I use it 6 days out of every week, so it’s very useful.

I can see why destinations encourage younger people to visit. They haven’t yet filled their house with knickknacks like we have. While we’re not done traveling (I hope) we tend to leave our money in restaurants more than gift shops these days. Or spend it on experiences. Making memories is what it’s really all about, right?

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New Habits for Old

Each of us has that right, that possibility, to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent herself, she will be invented.
Maya Angelou

When I first became aware of that quote, it seemed like a massive undertaking and one that required a really huge and constant amount of awareness and work. It seemed impossible. But I’ve come to realise that reinvention doesn’t need to be huge, it’s more like a thousand tiny things over a period of time that mount up to the whole.

The sniff of spring always has me tidying out my closets, cupboards, and the garden shed. So I’m currently in the mood for ‘out with the old, in with the new’. A while back I bought Atomic Habits by James Clear. In this book he talks about how making small changes (or even minuscule ones) can grow into such life-altering outcomes and how these small changes can have a transformative effect on all areas of our lives. I love this book and as you can see it’s well flagged with my favourite sections. In fact, I love this book so much that I recently bought an audio version to listen to while walking Vivvy.

Anyhoo, one of the things that resonated with me was the idea of habit stacking, where you identify a current habit you already do each day and then stack the new behaviour on top… example: After I take off my work shoes, I will immediately change into my workout gear.

I’ve tried this a few times (not with the workout one, ha!) and found it really effective. The most successful habit stacking I’ve done of late is every time I turn on my computer, I open up my work in progress first. I hoped it would stop me wasting precious writing time by heading down the rabbit hole that is social media. It’s worked really well and now I do it without thinking. Another one is every time I enjoy a cup of coffee, I drink a glass of water right after. Again, it’s worked for me and now really is a habit. I’m trying out a few new habit stacking ideas as we move into spring. The first one I’m adopting is every time I open the biscuit tin, I screw the lid straight back on without indulging. 🙂 That’s going to be a hard one, but giving up biscuits/cookies is my long term goal. Watch this space!

Have you ever tried habit stacking? Do you think it would work for you?

Website: fayeavalon.com

Super Bowl Arizona

My son’s place is close to where the super bowl was this year. We could see the aerial show from their backyard.   It made it even better with Char and Kennedy (granddaughter and great granddaughter) visiting from Washington state.        Kennedy love … Continue reading →

Back in the Swing

It’s hard to believe we are already in the middle of February, the last two months for me having gone by in a blur of family health and other matters. It’s been a hard, difficult time. One that has seen little work, either in writing or painting, produced by me, and even less housework done. But a corner has been turned and life is returning to normal. I hate winter at the best of times; spring cannot come soon enough, and it’s definitely on the horizon; that alone gives me hope and joy. Here in the south west of England, the weather is mild although the nights are still cold, little rain, and joy of joys, dawn is arriving earlier each day, meaning before long I can enjoy my early morning coffee outside in the garden. Plus the evenings are getting lighter each day. Hoorah!

Soon Dave and I can get back to our joint passion: gardening. We are itching to be outside as there is a lot to do: dead leaves, stems and plants to remove, spring pruning to be done, flowers and vegetables to be planted. I’m particularly looking forward to planting up my new flowerbed, the one where we filled in the koi pond last year. The front lawn at present is a mass of snowdrops and crocus, before long the daffodils and hyacinths will be in flower too, giving pleasure not just to us but to passers-by, especially the children coming home from school. Most amusing of all is one particular dog, a gorgeous red setter, one of a pair walking with their owner by the house every morning. The dog always stops at our drive to have a look at the garden before he will walk on, no matter how much the owner tries to pull him away.

In the back garden, everything is budding into leaf including all the clematis. I have a large collection of hellebores currently in bloom providing lots of colour around the beds; they are one of my many favourite flowers.

I am finally back into the swing of working on my current novel, the editing going well, if slowly, and as you may have seen already, produced a lovely painting of a squirrel, one I am pleased with. The trouble with painting and art is that everyone (me included) expects every piece to be a masterpiece. It is rarely like that. For each “good” painting, there are possibly 4 or 5 bad ones, ones thrown or hidden away, never to be shown to anyone. I thought this only happened to me, but recently reading an art magazine the other day, I learnt this happens to many artists. We all reach for perfection and too often cannot see beyond our mistakes, things that others do not notice.

“Nutty the Squirrel”

It is the same with our writing. We angst and strive to make each word, sentence, paragraph, chapter, book, the best it can possibly be often, to the extent of losing the spontaneity and life we have given our work. It’s the knowing when to stop and let it loose on the world.

And on that note, I shall stop here to allow this post to take flight.

Kit Domino’s websites and blogs

February!

Jillian here. Can you believe it’s February already? Wow. It’s crazy how one week just blurs into the next. It seems like it’s always Thursday (why can’t it always be Saturday? 🙂 )

My life has been kind of limited lately. Work (my paralegal was out almost the whole month of January, so I was doing her work and mine–with help from my legal assistant- but it was still a lot), home, and taking care of a family member both at home and in the hospital. I am tired and wish I could sleep for a month but that isn’t going to happen. 😦

Funny how life seems to come in spurts- hard times seem to add more hard times, don’t they? And conversely, good times seem to multiply to bring more joy. Not much balance in my life right now– there are lots of good things, but the three a.m. bugaboos are getting the best of me. I’ve never seen so much of the wee hours of the morning than I have the last two months.

I did get a chance to go to lunch with a group of friends yesterday. The seven of us had a lovely visit and it was a much needed balm to my soul. And I had Brunswick stew which is one of my favorite things in the world. I usually eat salad for lunch but I wanted to treat myself a little and indulged. It was so yummy!

Last Saturday, I also got to judge the county history fair here. That is always fun and seeing the projects of our students is educational and enlightening. The middle school winner was based on the Clotilda. The last slave ship to America which was illegal at the time and the owner ended up sinking it to cover his crime. This is about 40 miles from where I live. It’s a shameful part of history but the families who live in Africatown are determined to make sure no one forgets about it. It is a thriving community today with the descendants of those slaves.

There are ongoing dives to excavate the wreckage and I recommend this documentary on it.

Here’s a cool picture I took of the bankruptcy court flag on my way home one day- love the early moon rise, too.

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Winter Cabin – No Adventure

We held our annual winter cabin weekend with the kids and grands in January. When you total up our kids, partners, grands, and great-grands, hubby’s and my family total 22. Soon to be 23 as a great-grandson is due in March.

Eleven made it to the cabin. Since COVID, everyone makes their own decision to go or not go. No pressure. This was our 24^th year of doing this and I’m so grateful for this tradition. Our family has spread out along the west US coast so it’s a time to come together in person and catch up on our lives.

And let our lives go for a little bit. No hustle, no bustle, just us. Visiting, eating, playing games, eating, painting rocks and wood and canvases, and yes, eating. (I came home and had to go on a diet!)

Our talented daughter’s painted rocks.

Pay no attention to my moon rock failure. Lol.

The cabin we usually stay in is no longer rented out, so we found a new place for this year. Smaller, but with two separate living spaces so we were cozy but not on top of each other.

I don’t know if I’ve ever relaxed as much as I did at this year’s cabin. Food prep was simple and we only left the place once, to check out a distillery in a nearby town. In fact, that’s really the only “adventure” I can tie to this year’s cabin. I had a lavender-infused lemon drop. Never had anything like that before and it was yummy!

Now cabin is over and we’ve all gone back to our lives. Hubby and I are blessed because our kids are close, not only with each other, but with us. So we talk regularly throughout the year. It’s just nice, once in a while, to gather in person, you know?

Our daughter brought this sand thing and it mesmerized us all. It’s very peaceful to just watch the sand fall. Very meditative.

Have a wonderful month, everyone!

For more information about Laurie Ryan:
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I see the moon and the moon sees me…

Do you remember this lovely lullaby? Whenever I hear it, it brings back so many memories of a beloved aunt. I adored my Aunt Chris. She was only ten years older than me and we were very close. As a child, I’d watch her get ready to go on dates and she’d let me try out her make-up, she’d style my hair, and later when I slipped into teenager-hood she gave me loads of advice about boys. When she married I was one of her bridesmaids (that’s me in the ankle socks – stylish, or what 🙂 ) and later became god-daughter to her two babies, who I also adored with a passion.

Her husband was in the military and when the babies were still little they were posted to Singapore. It was my first taste of grief. I remember waving them off in the taxi that would take them to the airport, then disappearing to my bedroom to cry my young heart out. I missed them so much. We wrote all the time, my Aunt Chris and I, but it wasn’t the same, of course.

I remember one night I was in the garden looking at the moon and feeling sad when my lovely dad came out and sat by me. We chatted for a while and then my dad reminded me that the very moon we were looking at was the same one my aunt and little cousins would be looking at, too. It’s strange how the simplest thing can make you feel better, because my dad reminding me of that brought my long-distance family closer.

When they came back to the UK we had the biggest party. My little god-daughters were school age by then and I was well into the dating scene. My aunt picked up the mantle as if she’d never been away and we were back to the make-up, hairstyling sessions and, of course, the tips about handling guys. A skilled dressmaker, Aunt Chris soon became really busy and much in demand to make the most amazing creations for people. One day this chap I’d had a crush on for forever asked me out. Of course, I didn’t have a thing to wear! I bemoaned the fact to my aunt and when I got home from work that night, excited to prepare for my date but still not sure what to wear, there was a gorgeous pink shift dress (mini of course, it was the late sixties) laid out on my bed, a replica of the very one I’d been drooling over in a magazine. She must have worked like blazes to make that for me, despite the fact she had such a busy schedule.

Sadly, my aunt died a few years after returning home to the UK. I still feel the closeness we shared and think of her often … every time I look up at the moon.

Time for Boating in Peoria

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Here in the valley of Arizona it’s boating time.  When we bought the house in August it was too hot to take the boat out. You rarely saw anyone on the lake. But now even with temperatures at about 10 degree’s … Continue reading →