New Habits for Old

Each of us has that right, that possibility, to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent herself, she will be invented.
Maya Angelou

When I first became aware of that quote, it seemed like a massive undertaking and one that required a really huge and constant amount of awareness and work. It seemed impossible. But I’ve come to realise that reinvention doesn’t need to be huge, it’s more like a thousand tiny things over a period of time that mount up to the whole.

The sniff of spring always has me tidying out my closets, cupboards, and the garden shed. So I’m currently in the mood for ‘out with the old, in with the new’. A while back I bought Atomic Habits by James Clear. In this book he talks about how making small changes (or even minuscule ones) can grow into such life-altering outcomes and how these small changes can have a transformative effect on all areas of our lives. I love this book and as you can see it’s well flagged with my favourite sections. In fact, I love this book so much that I recently bought an audio version to listen to while walking Vivvy.

Anyhoo, one of the things that resonated with me was the idea of habit stacking, where you identify a current habit you already do each day and then stack the new behaviour on top… example: After I take off my work shoes, I will immediately change into my workout gear.

I’ve tried this a few times (not with the workout one, ha!) and found it really effective. The most successful habit stacking I’ve done of late is every time I turn on my computer, I open up my work in progress first. I hoped it would stop me wasting precious writing time by heading down the rabbit hole that is social media. It’s worked really well and now I do it without thinking. Another one is every time I enjoy a cup of coffee, I drink a glass of water right after. Again, it’s worked for me and now really is a habit. I’m trying out a few new habit stacking ideas as we move into spring. The first one I’m adopting is every time I open the biscuit tin, I screw the lid straight back on without indulging. 🙂 That’s going to be a hard one, but giving up biscuits/cookies is my long term goal. Watch this space!

Have you ever tried habit stacking? Do you think it would work for you?

Website: fayeavalon.com

Super Bowl Arizona

My son’s place is close to where the super bowl was this year. We could see the aerial show from their backyard.   It made it even better with Char and Kennedy (granddaughter and great granddaughter) visiting from Washington state.        Kennedy love … Continue reading →

Back in the Swing

It’s hard to believe we are already in the middle of February, the last two months for me having gone by in a blur of family health and other matters. It’s been a hard, difficult time. One that has seen little work, either in writing or painting, produced by me, and even less housework done. But a corner has been turned and life is returning to normal. I hate winter at the best of times; spring cannot come soon enough, and it’s definitely on the horizon; that alone gives me hope and joy. Here in the south west of England, the weather is mild although the nights are still cold, little rain, and joy of joys, dawn is arriving earlier each day, meaning before long I can enjoy my early morning coffee outside in the garden. Plus the evenings are getting lighter each day. Hoorah!

Soon Dave and I can get back to our joint passion: gardening. We are itching to be outside as there is a lot to do: dead leaves, stems and plants to remove, spring pruning to be done, flowers and vegetables to be planted. I’m particularly looking forward to planting up my new flowerbed, the one where we filled in the koi pond last year. The front lawn at present is a mass of snowdrops and crocus, before long the daffodils and hyacinths will be in flower too, giving pleasure not just to us but to passers-by, especially the children coming home from school. Most amusing of all is one particular dog, a gorgeous red setter, one of a pair walking with their owner by the house every morning. The dog always stops at our drive to have a look at the garden before he will walk on, no matter how much the owner tries to pull him away.

In the back garden, everything is budding into leaf including all the clematis. I have a large collection of hellebores currently in bloom providing lots of colour around the beds; they are one of my many favourite flowers.

I am finally back into the swing of working on my current novel, the editing going well, if slowly, and as you may have seen already, produced a lovely painting of a squirrel, one I am pleased with. The trouble with painting and art is that everyone (me included) expects every piece to be a masterpiece. It is rarely like that. For each “good” painting, there are possibly 4 or 5 bad ones, ones thrown or hidden away, never to be shown to anyone. I thought this only happened to me, but recently reading an art magazine the other day, I learnt this happens to many artists. We all reach for perfection and too often cannot see beyond our mistakes, things that others do not notice.

“Nutty the Squirrel”

It is the same with our writing. We angst and strive to make each word, sentence, paragraph, chapter, book, the best it can possibly be often, to the extent of losing the spontaneity and life we have given our work. It’s the knowing when to stop and let it loose on the world.

And on that note, I shall stop here to allow this post to take flight.

Kit Domino’s websites and blogs

February!

Jillian here. Can you believe it’s February already? Wow. It’s crazy how one week just blurs into the next. It seems like it’s always Thursday (why can’t it always be Saturday? 🙂 )

My life has been kind of limited lately. Work (my paralegal was out almost the whole month of January, so I was doing her work and mine–with help from my legal assistant- but it was still a lot), home, and taking care of a family member both at home and in the hospital. I am tired and wish I could sleep for a month but that isn’t going to happen. 😦

Funny how life seems to come in spurts- hard times seem to add more hard times, don’t they? And conversely, good times seem to multiply to bring more joy. Not much balance in my life right now– there are lots of good things, but the three a.m. bugaboos are getting the best of me. I’ve never seen so much of the wee hours of the morning than I have the last two months.

I did get a chance to go to lunch with a group of friends yesterday. The seven of us had a lovely visit and it was a much needed balm to my soul. And I had Brunswick stew which is one of my favorite things in the world. I usually eat salad for lunch but I wanted to treat myself a little and indulged. It was so yummy!

Last Saturday, I also got to judge the county history fair here. That is always fun and seeing the projects of our students is educational and enlightening. The middle school winner was based on the Clotilda. The last slave ship to America which was illegal at the time and the owner ended up sinking it to cover his crime. This is about 40 miles from where I live. It’s a shameful part of history but the families who live in Africatown are determined to make sure no one forgets about it. It is a thriving community today with the descendants of those slaves.

There are ongoing dives to excavate the wreckage and I recommend this documentary on it.

Here’s a cool picture I took of the bankruptcy court flag on my way home one day- love the early moon rise, too.

.

Winter Cabin – No Adventure

We held our annual winter cabin weekend with the kids and grands in January. When you total up our kids, partners, grands, and great-grands, hubby’s and my family total 22. Soon to be 23 as a great-grandson is due in March.

Eleven made it to the cabin. Since COVID, everyone makes their own decision to go or not go. No pressure. This was our 24^th year of doing this and I’m so grateful for this tradition. Our family has spread out along the west US coast so it’s a time to come together in person and catch up on our lives.

And let our lives go for a little bit. No hustle, no bustle, just us. Visiting, eating, playing games, eating, painting rocks and wood and canvases, and yes, eating. (I came home and had to go on a diet!)

Our talented daughter’s painted rocks.

Pay no attention to my moon rock failure. Lol.

The cabin we usually stay in is no longer rented out, so we found a new place for this year. Smaller, but with two separate living spaces so we were cozy but not on top of each other.

I don’t know if I’ve ever relaxed as much as I did at this year’s cabin. Food prep was simple and we only left the place once, to check out a distillery in a nearby town. In fact, that’s really the only “adventure” I can tie to this year’s cabin. I had a lavender-infused lemon drop. Never had anything like that before and it was yummy!

Now cabin is over and we’ve all gone back to our lives. Hubby and I are blessed because our kids are close, not only with each other, but with us. So we talk regularly throughout the year. It’s just nice, once in a while, to gather in person, you know?

Our daughter brought this sand thing and it mesmerized us all. It’s very peaceful to just watch the sand fall. Very meditative.

Have a wonderful month, everyone!

For more information about Laurie Ryan:
Newsletter
Website