Jillian here. I’ve been in a kind of funk lately and I don’t know how to shake it off. I know my life is full of blessings and good things but I’m just incredibly sad sometimes. It hits me hard and I’m down for a bit and then I become okay for a while. Just when I think it’s all good, boom! The sadness slaps me down again. Don’t you  hate it when things like that happen? It’s a vague feeling of unease and I can’t seem to make it go away. Any suggestions?

Last week when I was feeling particularly blah and even cried a little, I was greeted with a wonderful thing when I arrived at work. It’s hard to see in these pictures but there were a number of cardinals in and out of the tree in front of where I park at the office.

I have long believed that cardinals, dragonflies and butterflies, but especially cardinals (or as my younger son called them when he was little, “redjays”) are the spirits of our deceased loved ones come to call. To say hello, to offer comfort or just to let us know we aren’t alone. To me, this gift of eight cardinals darting in and out of the tree just when I needed them was a beautiful miracle all for me. I spent that day in awe of that wonderful message of love I received. Even now thinking about it makes me smile. If I could just hold on to that….unnamedunnamed1


19 responses to “Doldrums

  1. Sometimes, we all have times like this. For women who are close to menopause seem to have more of these episodes. So, don’t be shy. Tell your doctor and ask to be put on an anti-depressant such as Lexapro. It may take a couple weeks for it to “kick in,” however, it will and then one day you will think, “Wow! I feel so good now!.” Wintertime can be very difficult to deal with. Gray days, leafless trees, no color, and cold that rips through you. Those are the reasons that I counted the days until we could retire to move to our beloved Florida! I so love it here. There is sunshine every day, warmth, green palm trees and beautiful flowers everywhere. I highly recommend it!!

    Feel better, my dear, for this too shall pass! Hugs!

    Connie Fischer

    • Thanks Connie. I already live in Florida so we really haven’t had those days yet. This early in our season, we still have leaves and sun.

      Thanks for the good wishes.


  2. What a wonderful gift, to be visited by something special when you are feeling down. Somebody’s looking out for you, my friend. You know, down times are a part of life, I think. If they are temporary, then they make the up times even more special. Thankfully, when I had issues that felt almost overwhelming, they were menopausal and did fade with time, and now I just have regular ups and downs.
    Could this be a reaction to Autumn? You’ve had some rainy weather lately, right? Do you have a SAD light? I love mine.
    Okay, time to quit before I’ve written my own blog here. For now, I hope your friends helped you. 🙂

    • I agree that we all have ups and downs, Laurie. I do not have a SAD light because we did get a lot of sun here and we really have rain all year but it’s so short that it doesn’t bother me. Rain showers here may last 15 mins and then boom, done. I am sure I’ll get back my natural upbeat mood soon- just having a down time for now. AND I watched a sappy movie last night which was probably not a good plan. LOL

  3. What a wonderful way to start your day, seeing those colorful birds. I’ve never had mood swings but lately have been a bit down. Umm maybe it’s time to do like Connie recommended and talk to the doctor.

    Thanks for sharing your pictures. Hope your down feeling goes away.

  4. How super special that had to be. Hope you are not feeling sad now. Sometimes when I am sad I will smile at a stranger. If they smile back it makes me happy.

  5. Valerie J. Patterson

    So sorry you are having a rough patch. What a great blessing to see so many cardinals all at once. It very well could be a vitamin “D” issue. I know you have a lot of sunshine, but if you’re in court or in meetings with clients and not getting that sunshine, you could be lacking vitamin “D”. The hubbers and I always increase our intake of “D” during the winter months to stave of illness and down time. Hoping you are on the upswing! 😛

  6. What a lovely gift to see all those cardinals, Jillian. I’m a firm believer in help coming from unexpected, and magical, directions when things get you low. Really hope you are feeling better now.

    • I am better, Tricia. Still hits me once in a while but that, I think, is that my son isn’t going to get to come home for Christmas this year. This will be the first one without him here.

      And I love my cardinals. Another day last week, I heard some birds singing behind me and said. as I turned around, “Anyone there for me?” Two cardinals flew past. Made me smile for a long time!

      • Glad you’re feeling better, Jillian. Sorry your son isn’t home for Christmas this year, it’s hard not to be with them in person. But I know how close you two are, and that’s something to be treasured. You’ll be together in heart and spirit.

      • Thanks Tricia. I know we will be with each other in spirit and there’s always Skype! J looking for bright spots.

      • Valerie J. Patterson

        I’m glad to read you are feeling better, but I’m sorry that you will be missing your son being home for Christmas. I hope you’re able to skype or chat or have facetime with him. Won’t be the same, but it will help remove the miles in a sense.

      • Thanks. We will definitely Skype. It will be a poor substitute but it’s better than nothing.


  7. I do feel for you when you get down and empathise as I too have times like this, especially in winter and especially if I cannot get outside to feel the warmth of the sun. The cardinals are wonderful birds, wish we had them here in the UK. A friend of mine believes in the same way about robins and always feels better when she sees one. I do hope you are feeling better and more positive now. Your son might not be there with you at Christmas but his heart will be, no matter where he is and think how much you will enjoy it when you do see him. Hugs and positive vibes coming your way. 🙂

    • Thanks Kit – I DO feel better now. I still get a little sad when I see Christmas decorations up already but that always made me crazy anyway since it seems too early- lol. I do love my son and he is as upset as I am about this situation so that eases my heart a little. I know he’d be with us if at all possible. I think about people who have lost loved ones who really won’t see them again and realize I’m being ridiculous but there it is, right?

      Thanks for the good vibes.

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