Shhh, Be Very, Very Quiet

I’m taking over today. I’m like Elmer Fudd tiptoeing through the grass huntin’ a wabbit so be very, very quiet and maybe that woman who is always telling stories on me won’t realize it’s her Monday over here at the Backyard fence. You all do know she’s always forgetting that, right? She’s used to that first Wednesday thing but man, Mondays have her over a barrel.

So, if we’re really careful, she’ll never know I’m here.

Who am I?

Ah, I’m wounded to the quick that you had to ask. It’s Hobbes. Yes, it’s me. That crazy Jillian thinks I can only walk across the keyboard while she’s working and turn on iTunes. She has no idea of my real skill set. photo

Now, I know Lavada’s cat, Rue, took over here one day and she got away with it and I’m hoping none of you will rat me out. Ha ha, I said rat.

Anyway, I wanted to ask you all about this thing called a printer. It’s a real mystery to me. Jillian tried to tell me that it’s on a wireless thing where they can print from laptops in any room but it seems like some kind of black magic to me. I’ll be snoozing away in my favorite spot on the couch (and yeah, it’s leather and I won’t sit on it without a blanket- so what? It’s cold- so sue me) and that thing goes off. Noise ensues and paper starts spewing. I’ve leapt on it many times to try to stop it from destroying anything but haven’t been successful. I’ve climbed all around and inspected it – all to no avail. Anyone know how I can disable it? I need my rest (because I have mischief that needs doing and I have to be ready) and they insist on startling me with the darned thing. A cat can only take so much, you know?

Here I am trying to learn to turn the demon thing off. The picture is dark because I was trying to sneak but got busted. Can anyone help me? I must not let this defeat me or I’ll be the laughingstock of the catnip crowd.

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26 responses to “Shhh, Be Very, Very Quiet

  1. Hobbes I’ve been waiting to see you online. You should join us more often. Pull out the plug that goes into the wall. That will stop that darn printer. Glad you and Jillian found each other. You make her very happy.

    • Ahhh, see, Miss Darlene, I’ve tried that plug thing but the heifer has too many things plugged into some long contraption thing under the desk and I can’t isolate the one that causes the dadgum thing to work.

  2. Shhhh, from my end, too ,Hobbes.This is Tonette’s cat,Oranges;( it seems our ladies know each other).I, too, have no use for the printer noises and I can’t figure out what is going on.Sometimes the paper goes in, more noise and paper comes out.As many times as I watch it, it always takes me by surprise., but I have to see what’s going on. I like it when it’s quiet. In fact, it is one of my favorite spots to sit and watch the goings-on around here, until it suddenly makes noise.Somehow,I seem to be responsible, but believe me,I’d never do it on purpose! Bella, the other cat here,(I guess we’re friends),doesn’t pay it much to it attention at all.I don’t understand her. This is my first time answering a blog. Have fun when the people aren’t looking…and when they are!

    • Oranges, thanks for the response. I’m glad to hear I’m not alone but have you checked to see if Bella is really a cat or if she’s deaf? I mean, really, what kind of self-respecting cat isn’t agitated by printer noise? Methinks you have an imposter in your midst.

  3. Thanks,Hobbes,I HAVE checked her out. I mean, she doesn’t chase laser lights! She seems to be a cat…just a bit pretentious, like she’s really smart or something. She will come and check out the noise SOMETIMES. I’ll ask for your advise if she gets stranger.(She watches birds from the window sill, so I think we’re safe.)

  4. Hi Hobbes, Rue here, you might try eating the cord. Now mind you I’m too much of a lady to do that but my human brought in a kitten one time that took our what they call an external drive. And, it didn’t even make noise.

  5. Priceless 🙂

  6. OMGosh, this is hilarious. And Rue, stop giving Hobbes ideas! Your long distance friend, Dude, is sound asleep in his owner’s writing chair. She’s stuck in an old chair as he has comandeered her favorite one. So she thinks she’s going to hit the print button just to wake him up. bwahahaha.

    • Now, see, Laurie, jillian told me all about you and I know you’re in on the printer button conspiracy. Don’t touch that print key and wake up old Dude. He’s having a lovely dream about when he and I get to hang out. We’re going to invite Rue along so we can flirt and bring her dead things. We’re sure she’d love them. Let that poor guy rest up. You can suffer over there in that bad chair. It’ll build character.

  7. I got my computer back from Oranges…they are ganging up on us!

  8. Fab post, you cheeky little pussycat, Hobbes. Okay, so what have you done with Jillian? Love it. Great fun. 🙂

  9. Valerie J. Patterson

    Hi Hobbes! I have it on good authority that you should NOT sing “Sherry” to your human. 😛

    Hobbes, I also do not recommend that you chew that printer cord. It could be quite dangerous for you. Maybe just try swatting it out of it’s socket.

    It was very nice to meet you and to see some snapshots of you. You are a very handsome cat! 😛

    • ahh, FINALLY – someone acknowledges my handsomeness. I’ve been waiting all day for that. Thank you so much, Valerie. AND I’m now going to have to sing that song to her in the middle of the night since she needs to be woken up periodically to feed me a snack or two. Thanks for the idea. I owe you one.

      Swatting I can do! It does sound safer. I think some of these folks must want me to be hurt. Surely not, right?

      • Oh my dear Hobbes, I’d never want you to be hurt. That kitten didn’t get hurt a bit guess there’s way to chew on stuff and ways not too. You’re right just swat the thing and save the chewing for things like shoes.

        Rue 🙂

      • Ahh, Rue. So glad to hear that you want me safe. I think I love you! I shall swat it with my left paw instead since I’m a leftie. Jillian tried to tell me that male cats are usually lefties and females are usually righties but I think she thinks I believe her whatever she says since she does those Friday Fact things on her own blog- she’s a know it all.

      • Valerie J. Patterson

        Oh Hobbes, I hope you have not woken the lovely Jillian with your rendition of “Sherry”. That would not turn out well for you. I fear you would go hungry if you were to do that. 😛

      • I’m going to try it one day, Valerie. I’ll let you know how it turns out. Hehehehehe

  10. Hobbes, of course we all know who you are! And keep swatting that plug with your left paw, sweetie, we don’t want you hurt. I hope Jillian lets you have a lovely soft snuggly blanket so that nasty leather couch isn’t too cold for you. Come back soon!

    • Thanks Tricia. I’m working that plug the best I can. Jillian is mad at me and threatening to take my blanket but she’s a pushover and could never do it. That’s my secret weapon. I look at her with my big green eyes and she is in my power. She can’t fight it.

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