I absolutely hate making decisions. So much so, that it’s actually something of a joke in the family. But I can agonize for days when I have to make a choice, and the process eventually gains its own momentum and before long occupies a huge part of my reasoning brain! Shopping with me can be a nightmare, although I have one friend who is almost as bad as I am and we can spend hours in the same shop deliberating over which colour dress to buy or whether this top goes better with that skirt, and so on.
Now hubby is the opposite when it comes to making decisions. Mostly, he’ll weigh up the options, then he makes his decision. Snap. Once made, he’s happy with it and tells me he doesn’t give it any further thought. Infuriating. He often quips that it’s a wonder how I ever made the decision to marry him. Then I tell him, truthfully, that it was a no-brainer, and gain a few brownie points in the process 🙂
Weirdly, I’m usually better at the bigger stuff. It’s the smaller stuff that can throw me into turmoil. Over the years, I’ve tried pretty much every decision-making tip in existence. Writing out the pros and cons, sleeping on it, tossing a coin. I’ve even tried using a pendulum, a crystal hung from a thread. The theory goes that if you hold the pendulum and it swings clockwise the answer is yes, if it swings anticlockwise the answer is no. It’s supposed to be a way of accessing what our subconscious already knows and works by sending a signal to our muscles to move the pendulum.
Of course, what drives my inability to make decisions is the fear of making the wrong one and having to live with it. But it’s really not that bad, as even a wrong decision propels us forward and toward a new way of looking at and thinking about things. As Life Coach, Martha Beck says, “when you trade indecision for choices, you’ll be rewarded with either success or education”.
I’m a little better at the whole process since I’ve gotten older, and now I tend to make the majority of decisions using my gut feelings and rely on that sense of lightness that moves over me when a decision is made. I try not to waste precious time worrying over my choices anymore. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe warned “indecision brings its own delays, and days are lost lamenting over lost days”. That’s scary.
How about you? What are your favourite decision-making tips?