My Heart is Heavy This Week

As you all know if you’ve read my posts, I’m a fan of symmetry and like to look for things that come full circle or seem somehow to be more than mere coincidence (which I don’t fully believe in). Anyway, sadly, something came full circle for me this week and even my oldest son said the irony wasn’t lost on him.

November 25, 1999 was Thanksgiving Day. On that day, a blessing came into our lives. Our cat, Dixie (named by a great nephew of my husband’s) was a kitten who was less than three weeks old. She was part of a couple of feral litters who were living at a house near my sister in law. The little great nephew had brought a couple of the kitties over to his grandma’s house to play with. Every time I went outside, this tiny little ball of fur would follow me everywhere and talk up a storm.

At the end of our visit, I told my sister in law that I was taking that kitty home with me and I did. My youngest was five at the time and he sat in the backseat with her all the way home. The older son and his father had left the morning after Thanksgiving to attend a scout event.

We have been blessed with our Dixie Pixie Girl since that day in 1999. Sadly, she’d been losing weight lately and when I took her to the vet in August, they said she either had developed asthma or lung cancer. They couldn’t tell. They gave us some meds to help her breathing in the hope that it was merely asthma. About two weeks ago, it became clear the meds weren’t working. She started losing more and more weight even though she was eating three times a day and begging for more food. She was vomiting a lot and lost control of her bowels somewhat. We had to make the tough decision to let her go. It has weighed on my heart even though I know it was the right thing for her.

So, she was with us almost thirteen years to the day. It’s ironic to me. Here’s a picture of her in her better days.

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26 responses to “My Heart is Heavy This Week

  1. What a beauty! And she was blessed to have a good life in your home. I know the pain of loosing a beloved family pet. Each one is special, each one leaves a hole in your heart and family. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear you lost her. 😦 I have had pets my entire life, and as much as the integrate into our lives, it’s impossible not to hurt when they are gone. I’ve been looking at our dog Mickey as of late, and am trying to brace myself for the inevitable. He’s twelve, and although he shows some stiffness at times, he’s in good health. But, he’s twelve. Realistically, I know he won’t be ours for too many more years. We’ve had him since my son was three, and my daughter was eight, close enough to ‘their whole lives’ to be true. 😦 It sounds like she knew you loved her, and that was the important part.

    • Thanks Gail. You’re right. They definitely integrate into our lives. It’s a sad fact that they don’t live forever and we have to make those tough decisions. I hope your Mickey continues to enjoy good health for a long time to come. I think we all know when we take on a pet that this heartache will happen eventually but we sure can squeeze every bit of love from them while they’re here and we should. Hug your fur babies for me.

  3. I lost my baby of 14 years almost exactly a year ago and it was like losing a member of my family. They become such a huge part of ours lives and such a comfort in times of need. I’m sorry for your loss and share your pain.

  4. My heart goes out to you. Our pets are family members and some are even closer to us than that. Cats are so lovable and my new kitten has added such joy to our lives. I hope you will share your love with a new kitten. I know that Dixie will smile upon you from Kitty Heaven knowing that you loved her enough to care for another little kitten. I’m convinced that we will all see our babies again one day. Sending you big cyber hugs.

    • Thanks Connie. I agree that they are very much family. I appreciate the hugs. I plan to get another kitty but I’m going to wait until the new year so I can grieve and since we always have a real Christmas tree, I think it’s better to wait til that’s gone, too

  5. Such a pretty baby! I’m so sorry…

  6. I was so sorry to hear this news and my heart goes out to you and your family. They leave a hole but also so many wonderful memories. Sending hugs your way.

  7. That is so sad. It is so hard to loose something thqt is such a part of your family. Our thoughts are with you.

  8. How sad and what a beautiful kitty. I’m so sorry. Pets become part of the family and losing them is always hard but soon you will remember all the fun and enjoyment she brought to your family and you will smile at the memories. A hug from me. 🙂

  9. I am SO glad you are talking about this here, Jillian. It helps us heal when we know we’re not alone. Your Dixie Pixie Girl was a huge part of your life. And I’m grateful you shared a little bit about her with us. Hang in there.

  10. Beautiful.I am so sorry.My pets, esp. the cats, are just such a part of my life; their losses are so painful.My heart goes out to you.You gave her a good life.God bless you.

  11. I’m so sorry, Jillian. Losing a beloved pet is heartbreaking. Keep hold of the lovely memories and the realization that your Dixie had a wonderful life with you and your family. Take care of yourself.

  12. Valerie J. Patterson

    I am so very sorry, Jillian. Dixie looked like a lovely kitty. We lost our Princess Leigh to lymphoma just shy of her 15th birthday. It’s so hard to let them go because they love so completely and become such an important member of the family. I’m certain you have some wonderful Dixie stories that will keep her memory alive.

    • Thanks Valerie. I appreciate your empathy. She was very lovely. And it is hard to let them go. I know it was hard for you to let Princess Leigh go as well. They definitely enrich the family by their love.

  13. Maybe it will help to remember the love…. sad you had to say good-bye to your very loved little Dixie…cats are so special in our lives…

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