Odz n Enz by Valerie J. Patterson

I decided to finally voice my thoughts and figured this was as good a place as any.  What follows are musings and ponderings I either don’t have the answers to or have just been considering their plausibility.  Feel free to weigh in with a comment or an answer or a musing of your own.  Today is a bit of a thought free-for-all.

****    Last Thursday I was the guest speaker at a function for the 20th Century Woman’s Club, which is a charitable organization that–among other things–provides stuffed bears for children who are admitted to the hospital as well as providing funds for the upkeep of local playgrounds.  As I spoke about my book, The Lincoln Room, which is a ghost story, a section of the lights went out.  Everyone suggested the hostess slyly turned off one of the switches.  However, a closer inspection of said switches proved all were on, but the lights were still off.  Toward the end of my talk, the lights came on and remained on during the meal portion of the event until someone asked a question about The Lincoln Room after which the lights promptly went back out.  Definitely one of the odz in this blog today, wouldn’t you agree?

****    Why are a man’s dress pants called trousers while a woman’s dress pants are called slacks?

****    How come when women go to see a movie they sit side-by-side, but whenever two or more men go to see a movie they put one or more seats between each guy?

****    It’s hard work being a woman.  I mean just whose idea was it that women had to shave their legs and armpits?  Down through the ages, how did it come about that women had to have smooth legs and hairless pits?  Think about it.  Did Carl Caveman come home from the quarry one day, take a look at his wife’s hairy legs and decide then and there that she’d be more enticing beneath the bearskin without the hair on her legs?  And what about those pits?  After dragging the wife home after a dinner party of dinosaur eggs and tiger meat at Rocky Boulder’s cave, did Carl Caveman look down and suddenly become disgusted by Candy Caveman’s hairy armpits?  What served as the first razor?  A piece of sharpened flint?  Or perhaps Candy Caveman decided to heat up some tree sap and drizzled it on her legs.  Layering some banana leaves next, she waited a given amount of time and then ripped away, pulling out that offensive leg hair in the process.  Just how did this tradition come about?

****    Why is it that when a guy goes into a store to buy necessities he spends three bucks on a deodorant stick?  Yet, when a gal goes in for the same thing she spends half the national budget and comes out with a little gift bag containing half a dozen bottles, a few tubes, and some gadgets that resemble weapons of medieval torture.

Worst of all, we do this to ourselves in our strive to look younger, more attractive, less wrinkled and to walk around the mall with the same man who just spent three bucks on a deodorant stick, threw on a pair of black jeans and a polo shirt, and ten minutes later is asking if we’re ready yet.

****    Why are cats automatically drawn to the one person in the room who dislikes cats?

****    When did comic books stop being comic books and become graphic novels?

****    Why does most lipstick taste like something you’d find on the bottom of your shoe that you’d never in a million years smear across your lips?

****    I’ll leave you with this little tidbit that definitely fits into the odz category: I often put my blue tooth earpiece on just so I can sing in the car and not have passersby think I’m talking to myself.  😛  😛

I look forward to your thoughts and comments.  Until next time, I hope you are well and enjoying the first buds of spring.          Valerie

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9 responses to “Odz n Enz by Valerie J. Patterson

  1. Oh My Gosh Valerie, loved this mornings blog. I could hear the twilight music on the Lincoln Room one. And shaving — now that was something I haven’t pondered.

    Okay, this is one I’ve heard before but I was in my twenty’s before I came across it on my own. Different people – If you’re rich you’re considered eccentric, if you’re poor a crackpot.

    It’s early yet, I’ll ‘ponder’ awhile and get back to you.

    • Valerie J. Patterson

      It was more than a little odd for the lights to go off, plus, with a room full of ladies, you can imagine the reactions! 😛

      Oh, you’re so right about the eccentric/crackpot differentiation. I’m certain there are other terms just like those that separate the “classes” as well.

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Lavada. Have a fantastic weekend! 😛

  2. Oh, man. I got chills over the Lincoln Room story. Eerie. And pretty darn freaky. I’m with you on the whole why do women have to shave and guys don’t thing. I’m betting a guy started that just to mess with us women. And I LOVE the bluetooth tip. I’m using that one, because I get caught singing in my car pretty regularly. What a fun blog this is today. Thanks, Valerie!
    Laurie

    • Valerie J. Patterson

      You just know the inventor of pantyhose was a man, too. Probably a poor old sod who’d been dumped a couple times and decided he’s get even with the entire sex while he was at it! lol! 😛

      Feel free to use the blue tooth tip. It has certainly set me free! 😛 I just can’t help but sing while driving. This just makes me seem less crazy. 😛

      Thanks for reading and commenting today, Laurie. Hope you’re off to a good start on enjoying your weekend. 😛

  3. OKAY, I don’t what I did before google. So inquiring minds want to know. What is the history of women shaving their legs and underarms. From all the articles I could find it was marketing pure and simple. Gillette wanted to sell more razors. Here’s one article http://www.ehow.com/facts_5340337_history-behind-women-shaving-legs.html

    Fashion was the other determining factor.

    • Valerie J. Patterson

      I like that they take shaving back all the way to 3000 BC because it kind of (and I loosely mean “kind of”) confirms my Carl and Candy Caveman theory. ha ha ha 😛

    • Ugh! All for marketing? Maybe we should all go on strike and stop shaving?
      Hmmm. I don’t see that happening anytime soon. lol

  4. What a really fun post, Valerie. Feel free to muse and ponder out loud any time 🙂 Except the part about the lights going out in the Lincoln Room. Weird.

    • Valerie J. Patterson

      Hi Tricia. Forgive my tardiness! Yeah, the lights going out was a bit weird, to say the least, especially when there was no apparent reason for them going out! Glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for reading and commenting! 😛

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